Friday, February 6, 2009

Two Sides To Every Story

Going to see Coraline tonight. Have avoided most reviews, but cannot resist some links presented at Neil Gaiman's blog. Compare and contrast:
While watching this movie I couldn’t help thinking it’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers for kids. I wouldn’t let any of my children under 12 see this version of Coraline.
--Diana Saenger's Review Express, via.
There are many scenes and images in “Coraline” that are likely to scare children. This is not a warning but rather a recommendation, since the cultivation of fright can be one of the great pleasures of youthful moviegoing.
--NYT Movie Review, via.

I tend to side with the New York Times on this one. Besides, remember the G.K. Chesterton epigram Gaiman chose to open Coraline with? "Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." Children need to be told that dragons can be beaten. They need stories of children like themselves overcoming frightening situations (and emerging the braver for it) and impossible odds (thereby inculcating a sense of hope).

Clearly, not being a mother myself, I have no right to criticize my friend who insists she will not allow her young daughter to see this, because it's too scary, and her daughter is a remarkably sensitive child. But I can't help but think that I, too, was a sensitive child--oversensitive, to hear my teachers tell it--and I would have bristled mightily at the age of 5 had my mother attempted to shield me from scariness. Granted, I shielded myself from a great deal of scariness. But if I'd wanted to see such a thing, nothing would be more sure to elicit an "oh yeah?!" out of me than Mom telling me that my delicate sensibilities must be protected from frights.

Hell, even had I not wanted to go see a movie like this one, all it would take was Mom forbidding it for me to suddenly, desperately want to go--and to resolve never to admit the nightmares I'd suffer for it later. (And I learned to treasure nightmares by the time I was a pre-teen. Nightmares are adventures.) And you will note that Gaiman says of the "too scary" review that "It's the kind of review that would have had me tunnelling out of my bedroom in order to see the film, when I was a kid."

Tell a kid "It's too much for you," and you will shortly hear the unmistakable sounds of youthful defiance. "Oh YEAH?!" You tell 'em, kid.

John and I are not planning on having kids, which disqualifies us, like I said before, from pontificating on parenthood. When people ask us, "When will you have kids?" we say, "As soon as we stop being kids ourselves." I think that's probably a good answer, actually. The fact that I can remember being 3, 8, 11, 16 in great detail and with undiminished emotional impact would probably make me a horrible mother.

Still, I often wonder if parents who attempt to shield their children from fictional experiences that are "too scary" or "too adult" remember in the slightest what it was like to be a child, and how they reacted as a child when told "no" for no good reason they could see, and how those seemingly unreasonable "no"s engendered distrust, and how that distrust made them reluctant to get Mom and Dad's opinion on stuff later...

Dude! If You Don't Talk To Your Kids About Scary Movies, Who Will?!


Addendum: Were I a parent (go ahead, roll your eyes), and if my youngster wanted to see this movie, and I took him/her instead of saying "No, maybe when you're older"... the best possible reward for this would be to hear my kid say to me afterwards, "Mommy, if you're ever kidnapped by a wicked imposter, I'd save you."

OK, I'll stop with the unearned pontification now.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

So this is the GOOD alternate universe, right?

Proposed: That during the Bush administration, comedians were often doing a better job at news than the news reporters were, cf. The Onion, The Daily Show/Jon Stewart.

Observed: That on the first day of the Obama administration, CNN is calling on comedians to augment their news segments, cf. Carlos Mencia interview, recap of last night's Colbert Report "Did you think you'd ever live to see this day?" segment.

Summarized: We seem to have gone from comedians reporting on news, to news reporting on comedy.

(Also observed: I'm watching CNN. On purpose. And they're quoting Rush Limbaugh in order to criticize him.)

Clearly, we switched universes yesterday. It remains to be seen whether we switched back to the universe we left when the Supreme Court made Bush President in January 2001, or whether this is a third alternate universe we had not counted upon.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Upon rewatching Beauty And The Beast (Perlman/Hamilton, not Disney) for the first time in years

If I did the LJ icon thing (which I don't), I'd make me an icon right now. It would feature, off-center on a black background, a scary pic of Vincent going all snarly and I KILL YOU NOW RAWR. And the caption would read:

CAN RIP YOUR THROAT OUT

DOESN'T NEED TO SPARKLE

In other news, the 1989 episode "Arabesque" still reduces me to a sobbing little girl with the ending "these hands" dialogue. Every. Time.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Like A Kid At Christmas

because i have new Doctor Who downloaded to hard drive like RIGHT NOW and we're all gonna watch it tomorrow SQUEEEEEE

*ahem*

That will be all.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Among the New Orleans Saints records: Most Up-To-Date Web Site

An unofficial title, of course, but, seriously, I haven't come across any other NFL franchise web site that keeps its site quite as updated on game day. You watch. The "Game Day" page updates with score and key plays throughout the game (typically running about two to five minutes behind; at the time of this screenshot, the score was actually Saint:16 to Falcons:14)...


...and at the same time the "Game Story" is written and updated in next-to-real time (again, lagging maybe by about 2 minutes; as I speak, it's updated through half time, and now we're about a minute into the 3rd quarter).

Maybe another team's web site is as awesome, I don't know. But every time a friend asks me to try to find out how their team is doing (e.g. Broncos), I find out that the team web site is insufficient to the task.

Geaux Saints! WHO DAT?!

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Bestest STAR WARS Pastiche Evar

Had occasion to reread the Making Light thread with the timely fruitcake recipe. Why? Because there's fruitcake in the oven right now (but not that recipe). Found this. Aren't you glad I did?

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Peacocks in North Boulder

Really.

Round about the corner of Vinca and Upland.

Peacocks. In North Boulder. Yesterday afternoon. Just... peacockin' around.

Huh.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Another Reason To Play YPP!PuzzlePirates

Because when it comes to the inherent problems of DRM and making money on software, Three Rings Design have a clue.
The cheddary 'Free to Play' is not just a cheesy marketing slogan, but a shift in assumptions; it costs approaching nothing to give away some bits, or let people play Puzzle Pirates for free. Every player, free or paid, adds value to the community and excitement for other players. Free players are the content, context and society that encourages a small fraction of the audience to willingly pay more than enough to subsidize the rest.
Game Designer and Three Rings CEO Daniel James. Emphasis mine. Read the full article at Penny Arcade, News for September 29 2008.

Penny Arcade are running a series of comics illustrating the history of Digital Rights Management and Piracy Prevention, and each comic is accompanied by an editorial on the subject by someone in the industry. Follow the link here and use the site navigation to enjoy the series.

Friday, September 26, 2008

How Not To Use Your "Fry Daddy Jr." (TM)

Remember: Before plugging in your Fry Daddy Jr., always remove the black plastic storage lid!



The stupid of it is, my first instinct was to write to the company. "I just plugged it in, like normal, and the black hard-plastic rim melted! It's not supposed to be able to do that! It's supposed to be heat-resistant!"

Then I remembered that the appliance doesn't have a black hard-plastic rim. And that I couldn't find the storage lid. Or a memory of having removed the lid.

Oops.



Tonight we fry tofu the old fashioned way: In an inch of shortening in the iron skillet. Tomorrow, we attempt to clean what used to be the storage lid off the Fry Daddy Jr. in hopes of returning the appliance to active use. Wish us luck.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

It's Official: I'm Old (clue #456)

It's not that I was listening to the local Oldies station that was my clue. It was that the local Oldies station was playing songs by Blondie and Eddie Money.

I suppose the Eddie Money song gets a pass, since it directly references The Ronnettes' 1963 hit "Be My Baby" and in fact features Ronnie Spector her very own self. But there is no such mitigating factor for Blondie's 1978 track "Heart of Glass."

The point is, both songs came out in my lifetime. Isn't there a rule somewhere that says that pop/rock releases during your preschool or grade school years aren't officially Oldies until you're at least 50?

I'm too young to feel this old, I really am.

Friday, June 13, 2008

"But you're supposed to be polite to everyone!"

I am putting the work-a-day world on notice: Starting now, I am no longer going to answer the question, "Oooh, that smells good! What are you eating?" with anything more specific than "Food." Because what I decided to put in my body today is not a subject for public inspection, even if I did have the temerity to eat it in the office. Dammit.

Actually, I did that the other day. "What's that concoction there?" he asks. "My lunch," I tell him. And the interrogator would not stop. "No, really, I want to know. Really! Just tell me! It smells good!" I finally told him the restaurant it was from on the off-chance that he was looking for a dining recommendation.

Why am I the one considered rude when I refuse to yield personal details? (And why is my judgment as to what constitutes "private details" up for debate?) Why isn't he considered rude for prying past the first refusal?

*sigh* Reason #469 to be a writer: Your office has only one person in it at all times.

So, I'm going to get hard-assed about this. "What's that?" "Food." "No, really!" "Really food."

Because Changing Social Norms Regarding Privacy And Politeness Begins With Me!

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Beware the Fringe Beast!

Because sometimes you just have to take photos of your cat. There are laws.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Luck Be A Playah Tonight

Shorter Frank Sinatra: "Ladylike behavior means acting like I own you."

Lady Luck's response: "Waiddaminit. You thought we were on a what? Excuse me while I laugh myself sick over there by that guy at the roulette wheel."

Thursday, November 15, 2007

i *heart* making light

Exhibit A:

It is one thing to call a blog-comments-troll a fruitcake. It is a thing of an entirely other and more elegant order to give the troll a fruitcake recipe.

Exhibit B:

After two threads about Ron Paul devolved into abortion debates (this is vaguely legit given Ron Paul's pro-forced-pregnancy policies thinly disguised as a states-rights stance), Teresa made a brand new thread for those determined to pursue the subject beyond the bounds of civility. "If y wnt t tlk bt brtn, d t hr," she wrote. Whereupon people commenced to talk about everything but on the pretext of playfully misunderstanding her disemvowelled text.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

A Modicum Of Research Needed

Dear Heroes screenwriters:

Your touching montage of flooded-out homes superimposed over a melancholy facial expression fell a little flat after having the owner of that melancholy facial expression say, "Half the folks in this county are still living in FEMA trailers." This is because Louisiana does not have counties. It has parishes. This is important to know when writing dialogue for fictional Katrina survivors in New Orleans.

This kind of sloppiness makes you look very bad. It makes you look like you care about the Gulf Coast aftermath of August 29, 2005, only insofar as you can use it to boost your show's ratings. Like you said, "Oh hey! I know what makes viewers feel sorry for characters! Hurricane Katrina!" and then just went ahead and sprinkled the words "New Orleans" and "Katrina" and "FEMA trailers" indiscriminately throughout the script. It makes you look callously unconcerned with actual Katrina survivors and the realities of their lives over the past two years, seeing as how you couldn't be bothered to research those realities.

In short, it makes you look like an exploitative git.

Next time, fact-check. Read Metroblogging New Orleans or Poppy Z. Brite's blog. At the very least grab a map. Maps are useful and chock-full of details. I recommend them.

Signed,

A Jefferson Parish Native
(origin: 1.5 miles west of the 17th Street Canal)

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Cake doing the Jim Carroll Band. Maybe.

Compare and contrast:

Cake's "Short Skirt/Long Jacket," 2001
I want a girl with a mind like a diamond
I want a girl who knows what's best
I want a girl with shoes that cut
And eyes that burn like cigarettes
I want a girl with the right allocations
Who's fast and thorough and sharp as a tack
She's playing with her jewelry, she's putting up her hair
She's touring the facility and picking up slack
with

the Jim Carroll Band's "I Want The Angel," 1980
I want the angel that knows the sky
She got virtue, she got the parallel light in her eye
I want the angel that's partly lame
She filters clarity from her desperate shame
I want the angel that knows rejection
Who's like a whore in love with her own reflection
I want the angel whose touch don't miss
When the blood comes through the dropper like a thick red kiss
Tribute? Deliberate inversion? Total coincidence? Discuss.

(This classroom exercise brought to you by Flashback Radio!)

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The Oceanmasters Tell It Like It Is

Overheard while workin' me pirate's hindquarters off at a distillin' joint:
Hephaestus broadcasts, "We are aware of the problem with lag on Viridian at the moment."
Hephaestus broadcasts, "It is under investigation."
Hephaestus broadcasts, "We are confident that it is *not* the server, but some problem elsewhere."
Hephaestus broadcasts, "So all the petitions suggestion we reboot aren't helping."
Hephaestus broadcasts, "kthxby."

Most informative use of LOLcattishness on the Viridian Ocean

Saturday, August 11, 2007

While On The Subject Of Yummy

Boulder's got this restaurant called Antica Roma. Antica Roma's got this entrée called "Noce e Zucca." In English, that's "perfect creamy fattening divine goodness involving walnuts and butternut squash and various moaning noises." (Stick that in your phrase book and take it to Italy.)

Here's how I have something very much like it at home for exceedingly cheap.

  • Roast* a couple handfuls of diced squashies. Which type? Eh. Your choice. I have some zuccini in the fridge and a bag of frozen butternut in the freezer.
  • Cook the pasta from a box of Annie's Peace Parmesan. Alfredo Shells & Cheddar will do in a pinch.
    *If in a hurry, cook squashies by tossing them in with the pasta during the last couple minutes of boilage.
  • While pasta drains, simmer together 1/4 C heavy whipping cream and 1 Tbl sherry or whatever else you have on hand and like to cook with.
  • Toss in a handful of crushed walnuts.
  • Dump in pasta and squashies. Mix thoroughly.
  • Commence with the yummy.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Those Crabapples ARE Edible After All

These are my plans:
  • Pick about 10 ripe crabapples. Ripe means red.
  • Mince 'em with a vengeance and no mercy. Seeds? Meh. Seeds never hurt anybody.
  • Stick 'em in a pot with a couple tablespoons honey. Simmer simmer simmer. Destination: mush.
  • Put the mush in a PIE. (A small one. More like a tart, really.)

I'll let you know how it works out.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Things That Go Bump In The Night

Something just went "clunk" in the air conditioner.

I performed a roll call and both cats answered "present." (Actually, they said "Go 'way, we're napping.") So it's not them. Also nothing fell off the air conditioner unit outside. Compost bucket, check! Orchid replanting materials, check!

What goes "clunk" inside an air conditioner wall unit?

My theory is hamsters. Because hamsters is what makes things run. I think my air conditioner running hamster fell off its wheel and hurt its little footsies. This is unfortunate. We've been having an upper-nineties summer and we need that A/C unit working.

Do you figure McGuckin's carries replacement A/C hamsters?