Bestest STAR WARS Pastiche Evar

Had occasion to reread the Making Light thread with the timely fruitcake recipe. Why? Because there's fruitcake in the oven right now (but not that recipe). Found this. Aren't you glad I did?

Taurus Sun with Aries Rising

Once upon a time a wise witch told me, "Astrologically speaking, your sun sign isn't nearly as important as your ascendant. If your sun sign is a car, your ascendant is the driver."

Help! I've got an Aries driving my Ford Taurus!

It's a terrifically dependable car, from what I hear. It gets you there. You start a journey with that sucker, you're gonna finish on schedule. But what's that easily distracted lunatic doing at the wheel? I don't know, but whatever you do, don't invite it into that thought-box of yours. The one involving LEDs and tiny parachutes. Aries will make a shopping list and ask you where you want the troops deployed. Don't answer. It will happen. Because the Taurus is that dependable.

"Pinky! Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
"I think so, Brain, but how will we get a pair of Abe Vigoda's pants?"

Don't even say that around Taurus With Aries Rising. She will get you a pair of Abe Vigoda's pants. And then she will make you wear them, because you asked for them, didn't you, and she went out of her way to acquire them, totally inconveniencing Mr. Vigoda in the progress because you had this need, now don't you dare not put them on!

"Poit!"

In other words, whimsy followed by meticulous, unstoppable doings.

And blog posts that are much shorter than this.

Usually.